


Dysphoria

by lucifertookhim



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Asoiaf - Fandom, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Mental Instability, Mind Games, Sadism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:25:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucifertookhim/pseuds/lucifertookhim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a monster... her own father was willing to give her away to a monster... </p><p>i'm really bad at summaries but what if the song of ice and fire had nothing to do with Starks and Targaryens ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. oblivion

at wolf's den :

"no father please you can do this to me , have you not heard the stories about him he's heartless" she wiped away here tears and turned to her lord father trying to look as confident as she could " i will not allow it i'll run away i swear to the old Gods and the New i will run away and you'll never see me again i'd rather be homeless and die out of hunger then be his wife you can not force me" she looked right into her father's eyes her blood boiling with anger and he heart wounded by the mere thought that her own father would agree to such thing. She saw a gleam in her father's eyes for the first time in her life it almost broke her heart he immediately blinked it away " my little girl you know i'd never put you in harm's way but Lord Bolton threatened to burn our village to the ground and kill everyone in it if i refused his offer i'd gladly give my life for you but i can risk their's they're my people and as the lord of the area it's my duty to protect them" he wrapped his arms around me and lifted my head to meet his gaze " no one will hurt you i know Ramsay is cruel man but Lord Bolton is no fool he wont let him harm you he needs us" tears flooded her eyes " there's no escaping this isn't there?"   
"i'm afraid not" she sobbed into his father's chest until her eyes couldn't bare it.

at the dreadfort :

"of course father, i'll do as you wish" Ramsay said with a smug smile on his face "this our deal now that you're legitimized and my heir you need an heir of your own a TRUE BORN HEIR" Roose spat the last tree words like venom wiping the grin off of the bastard's face " and you will not hurt her ,we need her, her father has money , money that can help us against the Iron born"   
"Come on father you think i'd hurt my lady wife ","i need her Ramsay ruin this for me and i'll have your skin " Roose sighed even he could see that his son was monster and though he couldn't care less about the girl he cared about her father's wealth and if Ramsay ruined it for him it'll be the last thing he'd ever do.

 

"will kill her! I WILL KILL THE CUNT BEFORE YOU LAY A HAND HER!!" Myranda yelled as she entered Ramsay's chambers " you're getting married then ? you think i'd let the bitch live" she said ,the cruelest smile plastered on her face 

" that's my betrothed you're talking about i will not see you talking about her in such matter" he said and he crushed her body with his " yellow is not your colour..." her planted soft kisses on her neck nibbling ever so gently at the soft skin before his teeth ripped throw it drawing blood " red is your colour" she moaned and crushed their lips tasting her own blood in his mouth as she felt the sharp blade rip throw her flesh and pierce her already dead heart " i'm sorry love " he chuckled " but what did you expect " she smiled softly if you didn't know any better you'd even say innocently and he wiped the blade on her limb body and walked away...


	2. fade away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No Light No Light in your bright blue eyes ...

The Lords of the Dreadfort Rode to Wolf’s Den with their bannermen in a celebrational match of the newly found reunion of the north’s forces. It was important for them to keep the good terms between the soon to be united Houses so when the Lady Sparris requested to be wed in the sept of snow of the white harbor Lord Bolton complied , truth be told the lady Helyna was never the most devoted worshiper but she wanted to delay her departure to the Dreadfort as much as she possibly can.

the gates of Wolf’s Den was on the icy shore north of White harbor ,the pale pink and bloody red of the Bolton banners was met with the deep emerald blue and light grey of the Sparris Ones , the city bannermen guided the visitors to the castle hall.

Lord Rickard and his son were ready to greet their visitors at the Great hall . “i can not believe you agreed to this” Vyros his heir mouthed trying to hold back his anger.

“We are not going through this again Vyros , you know what’s at stake here , besides now that Roose Bolton is warden we have no choice, defying him is defying the North , he’s willing to do anything to get what he wants and i will not risk the lives of my people” Lord sparris was tired of his son’s nagging “i know how much you love your sister , she means the world to me too , but these are my people our people , protecting them is our duty and if this alliance secures their security then so be it”

Vyros knew his father was right but how could he not worry , he couldn't ignore the things he heard about the Boltons , they’re twisted people who else would have a flayed man as his sigil , he admits he is overprotective of his sister but for the first time he had every reason to be and that scared him more then anything in the world.

“Stop worrying Brother i’ll be fine” Helyna’s voice pulled him back to reality . She always seemed to know exactly what his thinking which made him smile ever so slightly .

“i know you will” he replied as he tugged a stray lock of hair behind her ear “ you look beautiful “  
Helyna was a beauty indeed though in the most unique way , she was the spitting image of her mother which was a Dornish women , she had olive skin and long black hair that shone like silk , the only thing she inherited from her father’s family were their eyes ; frozen blue of the northern ocean .

~~~~

 

Lord Roose lead the way as they entered the gates of the great hall shortly followed by his son and their companions . both of them dismounted walked towards the lords of Wolf’s Den .  
Lord Rickard stepped forward and extended his hand to Lord Bolton “ Welcome to Wolf’s Den my lord”

“thank you Lord Sparris” Roose replied as he shook his entertainer’s hand “ this must be Vyros , you’re truly your father’s son “ he patted him on the shoulder as his eyes met helyna’s .

“Hello my lord” Helyna said confidently as she bowed , she wanted to show his she’s strong and she wasn't afraid but her hand betrayed her for as hard as she tried she couldn’t stop if from shivering as he kissed it.

“Lord Sparris thank you for your hospitality “ his voice stroke her like thunder , making all the stories she’s been trying to push back flood her memory , stories of his crimes and she prayed , for the first in her life, she prayed that they were just stories.

“My lady” he cut off her prayers with his sinister voice and his eyes met hers ,as he took her hand in his rough one and kissed her knuckles , it felt like they were sucking the life right out of her .  
~~~~

She cursed herself for feeling weak , she praised herself on being brave , she was a better rider than half the men in white harbor , a skilled swords fighter and archer yet the thought of this man made her skin crawl with fear.

she had to prepare for the feast her father prepared in celebration of her betrothal but she couldn't , not right now she needed to get away from there , she felt as she was being suffocated  
she needed air .

 

~~~~

Ramsay would never be a crowd person , there’s always that person he wanted to kill and he wasn't sure he had enough self restraint to stop himself most of the time he wouldn't mind but this time it’s different he couldn't afford to slip .

he walked around the castle , he noticed it was about half the size of the Dreadfort but it was a big castle nonetheless , especially for someone like him he bitterly thought . the memories were interrupted by a small figure climbing down the walls and running into the stables .

“what do you think you’re doing?” he said closing in on what he assumed was a thief until his eyes met those orbs “ what is this ? trying to escape are we?” he smirked and held her arm a little too tight .

“should i be escaping?” her reply took her by surprise . “ i wasn't “ she winced as his hand got painfully tight on her arm “ i was just trying to get away from the septa , you’re hurting me!!!”

“am i ?”he teased , eyes piercing right through her “i thought you were a thief , my lady “ he let her go and smiled innocently , the sudden change in his features made her fear him even more “ you shouldn't be climbing walls like that it’s not very lady like , you could have fell “

“i’m not that lucky” was what she wanted to say but she ended up saying” i’m used to it , I've been climbing those walls all my life , my lord , i’ll be fine”

“ still , it’ll be a shame if something happened to you a day before the wedding” his face was too close she could feel his breath on her skin .

“ I should go back” she walked away without looking back as tears ran down her cheeks.

~~~~

She avoided his eyes thought out the feast , she never liked celebrations anyways too much noise for her liking she was never a person of too many words much like her father the only voice they enjoyed was the sound of waves crashing on the stone shore behind the castle ,Vyros on the other hand was natural born leader her father would say would he’s not listening “ he’s arrogant enough as it is” they would laugh.

~~~~

The feast was finally over , the smell of roast and mead made her sick , if the celebration had lasted a minute longer she would have fainted .

she rested her head on her pillow trying to drown reality with dreams but the thought that this would be the last night she’d be sleeping alone , the last night she'd be safe in her own bed drowned her eyes in tears and chased slumber away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes and sorry if i disappoint you .


	3. Chapter 3

Ramsay hate this place , hated being tied up like this, he always thought being highborn meant you made the rules but it seems he was wrong about that, but he's the rightful son and heir of Roose Bolton and he'll do as his father bids.

The bastard did not seem to understand why the wedding was held in Wolf's Den , and most importantly in a Sept, the Seven were not his Gods, they should be taking their vows in the Godswood by the Dreadfort in front of the Heart tree. He could push back the thought that his father's agreement to succumb to Helyna's demands was just another way to insult him. 

"Lord Ramsay, do you want to go first?" Vyros said cutting off his wandering mind, his soon to be brother in law was leading him to the barber in order to get them both trimmed for the wedding "Yes, let’s get this over with” Ramsay managed to say when he caught up with his surroundings, Vyros pointed him to the chair , it was obvious he was just as annoyed wanted this whole wedding business over with too. When the barber started lathering his patchy beard , the bastard aloud his mind to wander again but this time he was thinking about his Reek and the fact that he’ll be reuniting with him soon.

~~~~~~

the Sept of Snow stood tall above it’s surroundings , it was one of the most beautiful monument in the North. The sight of such holy structure was supposed to bring peace to the beholder’s eyes but it only made the fear in Helyna’s heart grow with every step she took.

Everything seems to happen like clockwork the second they laid foot in the Sept. Every guest took his or her proper place facing the septon who stood majestically between the altars of the mother and the father where he would officiate the ceremony, to his left stood the groom draped in his house’s pink cloak.

The guests all stood to receive the bride and her father , Helyna looked beautiful in her pale blue gown , the bodice was elegantly embellished with rhinestones that shimmered softly like melting snowflakes.

the aisle seemed shorter than she had remembered for she has found herself facing her soon to be husband faster than anticipated. she watched as her father assumed his place between Vyros and Lord Bolton , her eyes meet her brothers who smiles and nudges her to focus.

“You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection” the Septon’s honeyed voice instructs . Ramsay then proceeds to bare his bride’s shoulder of her house’s cloak to cover them with the Bolton cloak. His hand then reaches for hers , her grabs it surprisingly gently and represents them to priest. The Old man then ties their joined hands with a ribbon represented to him by one of the septas “In the light of the Seven , I hereby seal these two souls, bringing them as one for eternity”

they exchange their vows and just like that she was no longer Lady Helyna Sparris, She was Lady Helyna Bolton.

~~~~~~~~~~

The last rays of sunlight seemed teasingly gave way to the darkness as the guests feasted and mingled loudly . Men started to grope the serving maids shamelessly as the effects of the largely consumed wine and ale started to kick in. The music never stopped everyone seems to be enjoying themselves , all but the bride.

The thought of what’s yet to come filled her mind with fear, all the rumors about the Bastard rushed through her skull and despite all attempts the thoughts were their to stay.

“I believe it is time for the bedding ceremony” Ramsay’s voice echoed cutting off the music and before she knew it she was pulled from her seat by what seemed like a hundred hands. just before they pulled her towards the stairs she managed to get a glimpse of the cruel smile spread across Ramsay’s face.

The hands tugged roughly at her clothes, tearing at the fabric of her gown leaving her with nothing but her small clothes when the huge wooden door closed behind her. Ramsay was waiting in nothing but his breeches by the door “ sweet wife, don’t you look ravishing?” he whispered in her ear , one of his hands found it’s way to her waist pulling her closer to him while the other tucked away a stray lock of hair behind her ear exposing to his rough lips.

He suddenly pulled away and walked towards the nightstand where the chambermaids left a wine jug and two goblets . He fills them and takes a sip “drink” he order offering the second goblet to his wife. she walks toward him and grabs the wine filled cup, she takes a sip and realizes her throat was awfully dry. She drinks it way too fast and returns the Goblet to its place.

“Better?” he asks with an amused look on his face   
“yes, thank you” she says blushing at her stupid behavior  
“Good,” he stood up to face her “Undress!” he ordered , all amusement now drained from his face making the bride freeze .  
“Did you not hear me? you should know that i’m not particularly fond of waiting” he said as he forced her to face him “Undress!”  
her shaking fingers struggled with the laces of her small clothes but Ramsay’s patience was draining fast, he grabbed her by the hair, making her gasp in pain”here” he ripped the thin fabric that covered her body with one harsh tug “there all done, was that so hard ?” 

his hand constricts around her throat and she gasps for air. He bares his teeth at he like a hound making for his attack , her hands struggle to free her neck as she begins to choke just as she starts to feel faint he throws her body on the bed  
“Look at you, pathetic little bitch” at this point Helyna couldn't just stay still and let him have her like her septa instructed, all the red flags in her mind were up now and she found herself struggling to get away from his grasp but his hand found her ankle fast and pulled her back to him   
“let go , let me go!”she wanted to scream but her voice came out hoarse and raw  
“a struggle? Now it’s getting interesting” his free hand mingle with the laces of his breeches   
“Please,please don’t” her silent tears turned into sobbing at the sight of her now completely naked husband who was already hard.  
“mmm let me think, i’m guessing… NO!” he is now on the bed , pushing her legs apart with his knee as his mouth devours her breasts, biting mercilessly despite his wife’s pleas , his hands caress her sides before grasping her hips and forcing his way in her. He muffed her pained scream with rough kiss “shhh, someone would hear, we don’t want that kind of attention here now do we?” he whispers , now nipping at her ears. He keeps thrusting in a chaotic rhythm, his precum and her maidenhead blood made his task easy.

Tears stinging her eyes , mind numbing pain shooting throughout her body , hands wrapping around her neck were the last thing Helyna recalls before she fell into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you look at? that i updated!! i should clarify that i tried to update sooner but i got a job and i just didn't have time at all.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very first fanfiction so bare with me please


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